I puked a lego.
the day after is always just damage control
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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