Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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