All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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