my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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