Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
