So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
