I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
