he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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