Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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