I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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