I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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