GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
