I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
