I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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