I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
