You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
