garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
