If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
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my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
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Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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