At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize