This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize