when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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