@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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