Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I touched a dick in church today
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
