Taylor Swift is so right about you.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
