So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
