i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You're like the curious george of whores
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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