You work out of a Hotel?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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