yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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