1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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