my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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