So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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