I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
