you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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