i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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