is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i already hear my dad disowning me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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