i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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