dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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