I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
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i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
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He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.