I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.