if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow