it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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