grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
