come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
