i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
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Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
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I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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