D3 body, D1 cock
We're like a lot better than the average bears
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
All the doctor said was why
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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