She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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