she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize