You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
