Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
