You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
