If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We got so high we made milksteak
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My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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