Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Randomize
