Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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