Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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