Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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