Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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