i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
