I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
