Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
